im just started doing this diary thingy.i dont really like 2 talk about my private life out loud.
so i dont think that it this blog site i will write a lot of stuff.
now? i dont know my life now it is consider as happy, free or guilty?
ok. i just broke up with the same guy i been dating like ages. but i dont feel anything. am i being mean or im just used 2 it already. coz as all people know that having relationship for 2 long, breakup and makeup will happened. but i dont know now my relationship with him are totally over or just part of the cycle thingy. this sucks.
sometimes when im alone, i felt empty and bored. sometimes i felt free and happy. do i really need man in my life? eventhough he treat me like shit, but its just part of the relationship breakthough.
i dont really understand about people that think having a relationship are more important than being free. yeah sometime in relationship people have the feeling of needed,depend,caring 4 u. but does it enough?
thru my experience, i hav been with the same guy for almost 6years. i felt all of that. needed, depend on ans also sometime care. but when its broke, i felt free but at the same time bored, alone, stress and sick 2 look at loving couple.
it is true what people said that " human will never satisfied with what gifted to them and still want more"
damn. i dunno what to do. this is suck!
i dunno if i still love him?care 4 him?
coz a lot of hatred in my head 4 him that everytime when he talks to me, i get mad and pissoff.
damn. seriously i couldnt even think about other things than all of this questions and confusion.
should i just stay with him and just go with the flow?
or start having my own life and start being independent person?
or even playing a fool with him and do like friend with benefit? hahha. im not that evil.
whatever it this. please god, im begging you. show me the way.
